My story and why I didn’t think I was worthy

I have been struggling this past week. I thought it had to do with the full moon where I felt so disconnected from my essence, my core and my true identity. All the things what veza means – someone who aligns to their truth. It was quite funny to me that all the things that my company stands for is what I felt the most disconnected within myself.

Currently I am at a personal development seminar, one of many that I have attended over the years and I couldn’t help and think to myself, why am I? Why am I doing another seminar and what am I really seeking?

Over the years, I have invested way more time and money into my own personal development than I would like to acknowledge and I realized that I had hit a tipping point about a year ago where I had enough. I was tired of feeling like I was not worthy. I was tired of feeling like there was something wrong with me and I was tired of other people seeing me as I felt like something was wrong with me when I had my breakthrough moments. I do analyze myself and am very self-aware but that does not mean there is something wrong with me. It just means that I am aware to my unconscious programming so I can do something about it.

So a year later as I am at this seminar, I think to myself what is it that I am seeking when I know it all lies within me. I realized it was the reminder of the connection to my essence that is what I was seeking. I was seeking the reminder of who I really am and how did I really get here.

I am the woman who survived a childhood auto immune disease.

I am the woman who survived the feelings of not feeling worthy of love, commitment and attention.

I am the woman who survived intense backpain where I didn’t walk straight for three years and used to crawl to the bathroom.

I am the woman who has lost friends in the process of my growth.

I am the woman who has attracted a community of individuals who are soul sisters and soul brothers.

I am the woman who went from unraveling from the grief of her brother to gaining a whole new set of brothers and sister in laws.

I am the women who survived five concussions even though I may get headaches on a regular basis and there are days where noise bothers me, I still am high functioning.

I am the woman who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and know that I need to eat a certain way and exercise to keep inflammation down.

I am the woman who takes action, makes things I want happen.

I am the woman who took a volunteer role in Botswana, India and at an UN-affiliated agency in Netherlands.

I am the woman who published the story “Thriving while Grieving” in the “Time to Thrive” edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul.

I am the woman who is going to be leading the first trade missions for women entrepreneurs of cultural backgrounds, creating a space for them to expand their businesses globally.

I am the woman who worked through her low confidence, low self image, lack of respect for self, scarcity mindset, lack of worthiness and lack of deserving mindset to be who I am today.

I am the woman who knows there are other woman who now feel understood as someone went through what they went through.

I share this because I needed the women in the veza community to know they are not alone. They are enough. They are worthy of love, attention, respect and they are worthy of their dreams.

You, who is reading this, is worthy of everything you want. You are worthy of the love and connection you seek. You are worthy of commitment. You are worthy of the career you desire. You are worthy of having a global company. You are worthy of publishing that book. You are worthy of selling that painting. You are worthy of that promotion. You are worthy.

I call you to join me in the Worthy Leader Mastermind. 6 Months for you to step deeper into your sense of worthiness, deeper into your confidence, deeper into your spiritual journey and deeper into your awareness and impact more people and contribute at a level that you imagined.