Throughout our lifetime we will experience loss – be it the end of a relationship or be it someone physically leaves our life. Sometimes this loss is the loss of a job or loss of a part of our body/health. In any of these events we do experience a grieving process. As we truly have lost something.
I had this amazing weekend of self-reflection and self-love. I felt so aligned to my purpose and what I needed to do this. I know you are thinking, well if you had such an amazing weekend while such a heavy topic? First of all, I am a little quirky like that. I can experience my highs and my lows at the same time. Mastering this skill has allowed me to recognize that there is a constantly a duality of emotions and sometimes even plurality. We can experience happiness and still have parts of us feel sad or we can thrive while we grieve (yes, I just plugged my story in Chicken Soup for the Soul:).
This morning I woke up and felt this longing to see my uncle and my brother. Today is my uncle’s birthday. He was like a father to me in many ways as he understood my quirkiness and celebrated it. My brother I was missing as I spent some time in Venice Beach, which was one of his last trips. When I am truly in a place of where I am supposed to be, I feel his angel like presence with me.
The spiritual aspect of me has always understood when there is a loss in my life – the end of relationship, job or even physical that it was just meant to be that way and that is life. The human side is a force to reckon with. The human side is feeling the emptiness and darkness and wondering “WHY.” It almost feels like my heart has a gaping hole that can not be filled. Even though it may be sunny outside, there is darkness that surrounds me. Sometimes I will just sleep longer in hopes I wake up to seeing the light and that the hole is filled with hope and joy again and other times, I wake up and acknowledge that it is there but I robotically move forward with life. Then there are days I say “Screw this feeling, I have a reason why I am still here on earth. I have a purpose in helping to make this world a better place. I am here to do the work that God can not do on his/her own.”
Lately, I have always awaken to the feeling of “Screw this self-pity,” but today the emptiness showed up.
I was fortunate that I had such a powerful weekend and was shown again that I was chosen by God to be here and to do particular work. I was here living still because God wanted me to help him end suffering.
For each of us it doesn’t have to be a grand life purpose that you are changing the world and for some it is. Sometimes the change in the world is that you are in it and parenting a child or you are an angel in someone else’s life that you bring a smile to their face. Sometimes the gift you bring to this world is your presence and how you love and show others their best and worst aspects of themselves. Maybe your purpose is that your job is contributing to a company that impacts others. And sometimes you become a leader where you are leading thousands and millions to be better versions of themselves.
It is important to step into your purpose each day no matter how your heart feels or how dark the world may seem. The darkness will only feel light and be light if you are being in the place of contribution and service, whatever that may look like for you today. Maybe you pour some extra love into the lunches you make or you treat your co-worker to lunch. That itself is being of contribution.
Ask yourself – how can I be of greater contribution and service today, this week and this year? Listen to the light in your heart to hear what your heart wants.
When you are really missing a person or a situation, celebrate them. Remember what they brought into your life and have gratitude for it. The more you focus on the gratitude, the more you will be surprised how that same feeling shows up with different people and different situations and better.
PS: I am loving this song as for me it speaks to when will I see the person again but also the light within myself again.