What if we empowered ourselves to create our own definitions of success? As individuals, we have unique strengths, skills, dreams and living circumstances – the particular combination of which don’t quiiite exist for anyone else. Success is an individual journey, but we often measure ourselves against other people’s metrics and timelines (read: your family’s expectations, your “successful” entrepreneur friend on Instagram who is #livingherbestlife…)
We can imagine the version of ourselves who has that unique form of success we want more deeply than anything else. And for most of us, that person seems so far off – even unrealistic.
But why don’t we believe in that version of ourselves? (Well first, see last week’s blog for our tendency to self-sabotage in order to stay comfortable!) There’s a lot to unpack there, but the issue often revolves around mindset.
What if we stop framing our lives and our careers in terms of success or failure and just commit to the process of getting closer? Of cultivating alignment and growing as a person and as a professional? Creating a step-by-step process toward becoming our best selves?
For me at least, that takes some of the pressure off. Self-improvement can be an exciting challenge and a path filled with curiosity, exploration and fulfillment. Though it can be tempting to continually hit our heads against a wall for not living up to our own expectations.
Ultimately, we get the most fulfillment and meaning out of challenges we overcome, so I think that’s where we should start… Setting our own challenges in ways that align with who we want to become and what we want to achieve. Not doing so for accolades or for a more impressive title, but to commit to doing something we have been putting off or are afraid of taking on.
A key piece of the puzzle that is often overlooked is the deep self-reflection it takes to identify the right challenges to tackle. Without being fully honest, we cannot identify our weaknesses (I mean, areas for growth…) nor can we be sure that we are setting the right goals in the first place. We need to self-reflect at every stage to understand why we put up resistance as we grow (i.e.: Am I afraid of succeeding? Am I unworthy of love and success no matter what I do? Am I playing small?)
Self-reflection takes a lot of work and courage. What does my best self feel like? What do I need to do to become her? What have I always wanted to do, but haven’t done yet? These are not easy questions to confront, but they are the ones that allow you to frame your own success narrative and shut out the rest of the noise.
I know I said success is an individual journey, but by no means do you have to go it alone! According to the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD), individuals are 65% more likely to achieve a goal if they commit to someone else and 95% more likely to succeed if they have an accountability structure in place with a specific person.
While it isn’t necessary, it is so beneficial to have a circle of driven peers you trust to support you as you go through this journey of becoming your best self. As the whole group works towards their individual goals, you feed off each other’s momentum. The group process forces you to level up and to be accountable to your progress. Not to mention, other members can question your rationale for setting goals that may or may not be in alignment and encourage you to dig until you find something that rings true.
This is why veza community is holding the Deeper Goals Online Mastermind, because we want to see women commit to themselves and build their personal brand of success. Our dream is for every woman to be empowered to set her own life course, no matter what others tell her! The mastermind circle will listen, bear witness and create a safe environment for you that propels you forward. That form of peer mentorship also provides you with more meaning in life as you see the impact your stories and advice have on others.
In addition to the group dynamic, you will benefit from one-on-one coaching in the Deeper Goals program. Coaching helps you gain clarity on your purpose and increase your awareness of limiting blocks within your mindset. It also reduces that feeling of overwhelm that comes up when we start digging deep into core beliefs or when we aren’t sure how to get from that “today-me” to that elusive “best-me.” Your coach will act as a mirror for you as you navigate external factors/stressors that arise in your life, as well as support you with the resources suited to what you want to learn and where you want to grow. We created this program because we know that it strikes the perfect balance of the guidance, independence and solidarity you need to get the results you want. To learn more about the Deeper Goals Online Mastermind and how it can help you get to the next level, click here.
Photo cred: @mark.c via Nappy